User blog:1027music/An Apology
Hello all, I want to give my deepest apologies for what I have said and done to you over the course of 2019. I know now that what i've said and done isn't very smart, and that doing so has costed me some respect. I wanna first get some announcements out of the way. The Mamacita Freestyle I did will be removed from soundcloud later today. I have also decided to revise my verse on the ICU remix that will be coming soon. And, most importantly, i'll keep improving my sound. Now, to explain myself. When I initially started making noise and meme music in the middle of 2019, I didn't think that there would be people who wouldn't be interested in this style of music. I myself was very into those at the time, so I tried my damnest to emulate those sounds in my music. By tried, I mean really tried. I seriously thought I would get critical acclaim from it. I was feeling myself so much that I asked Big Lil to make a page on me for the best music wiki. As you all know, that didn't go down well. It got taken down because people thought that I was the one who added the article. However, it was the response I got before that really got to me. I remember looking at what BGSonicKid said about me and thinking "why is he saying this" and that's when I grew insanely insecure. I started begging my fellow Flex Entertainment members for confirmation that they actually liked my music. I'm sure they were being truthful when they said what they said, but that's not what I thought. All I thought about was the very notion hat I was trying so hard, this entire time, to make these people think i'm worse than submarine man. These people had to be stupid, right?! I know, in my heart, that I have been using my power to create something tolerable before, and now i'm being evaluated off of some random shit I made 'cause I thought it was interesting? Ridiculous! So after that, I started writing diss tracks. This was my ultimate SPACEGHOSTPURRP moment, as it was one of the most costly mistakes I've made. You guys might've given me a second chance if I hadn't made those songs. They became even more useless when I decided to make a post on BG's message wall trying to clarify my music and actions. Unlike this blog post, it didn't say much. But, at least it did more than the diss tracks. But, I kept on going, until I finally tried dissing them to protect my label. This promted a reaction from EmBee and MC Icy, who I then had a conversation with in the comment section of soundcloud. They apologized and all, but the message still remained. The diss was trash. It won't do anything big to the wiki. All it would do is taint my reputation even more. That's what it did. You guys wouldn't give me a second chance even when I started improving. It has all culminated in this one live stream we had where we were listening to joji, when you again told me I make bad music, despite what I stated in the last sentence of this blog post. That leads us to today. Earlier, I asked if anyone thought you guys were stupid, and EmBee responded by saying he wasn't dumb. We then suddenly had a back and forth about the subject before EmBee finally spilled the beans and said that I ouldn't get a second chance from you even if I tried. That is what finally made me see the error of my ways and motivated me to make this. So, this is an apology not just for some of the ways I think, but for the way I acted out. Again, I know that you guys might still be mad at me for it, but everyone makes mistakes, and some make a lot. I want to thank EmBee and MC Icy for being honest with me about this situation, and I hope I can move on from this in peace. Thanks for reading this... Category:Blog posts